Gignoo Transition House Inc. Info Page
Knowledge Is Power
Early Warning Signs of Teen Dating Violence • Is Dating Violence Against the Law • How You Can Support a Person Who Is Being Abused • Be Web Safe When Looking Up Woman Abuse on the Internet
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A Shelter for Abused Women and Their Children 24 Hours A Day / 7 Days a Week Strictly Confidential No One Deserves To Be Abused!
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Is
Dating Violence Against the Law?
Some aspects of dating violence are against the law. Other behaviours are inappropriate and unacceptable. Here are a few examples of dating behaviours that are unacceptable and dating behaviours that are criminal in nature:
| Unacceptable | Against the Law |
| Put down and name calling | Hitting, shoving, kicking |
| Manipulation and control | (Intentional use of force against somebody without his/her consent is assault) |
| Isolation form family and friends | Repeated harassment such as phoning you or following you (stalking) |
| Threats of suicide | Forced Sex, unwanted sexual acts |
| Extreme jealousy and possessiveness |
How to Be Helpful to a Friend Who Is Being Abused
- Let them know that you believe them and really want to list3en to what they are saying.
- Don't make judgments.
- Tell them they don't deserve to be hurt nor are they to blame. No one deserves to be mistreated.
- Allow your friend to feel the way they do they might need to talk about the good stuff as well as the bad stuff.
- Don't give advice or judge. Instead, talk to them about what their choices are and help them figure out who else might be able to help (ex: guidance counsellor) Offer to go with them.
- Don't criticize them for staying in the relationship or trying to make it work; it's only human nature to try.
Early
Warning Signs of Teen Dating Violence
Are you going out with someone who:
- is jealous and possessive towards you?
- tries to control you by being bossy and giving orders?
- is violent; has a history of fighting?
- abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them too?
- pressures you for sex, is forceful about sex?
- believes that men should be in control and powerful?
- you family and friends have warned you about that person?
- gets too serious too fast?
- If you have answered "yes" to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship.
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How
You Can Support a Person Who Is Being Abused
Given the extent of domestic violence in Canada, there is a good chance that you may know someone who is experiencing abuse. Below are some ways that you can be supportive to a person who is experiencing violence in their lives.
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Learn to recognize the signs of abuse - although there is no single indicator of abuse, you can learn about the physical, emotional and behaviors indicators. For example, a person may have unexplained injuries, or, a person may abuse drugs and/or alcohol to cope with the abuse. Her partner's behaviour may also be a sign, for instance, her partner may prevent or limit her contact with others, or try to control her in other ways. When you learn to recognize the signs of abuse, you can let her know that she is not alone and you are willing to listen to her and believe her.
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Ask about abuse in private - if you suspect a friend may be being abused, ask them about it when you are alone not with other people around.
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Be ready to refer a woman to someone else who can help her - a person who is being abused will need lost of support. Be aware of transition houses in your area, phone numbers for local Child & Family Services, social workers, counselors, or any other service provider that may be above to help.
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When a woman tells you that she is being abused, you should let her know that you believe he, and make it clear that no one deserves to be abused.
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Help her explore her options - a women who is being abused has to make many, often extremely difficult, decisions. You can help by providing information about services and supports.
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Immediate safety is a main concern - ask her what she needs to be safe. If she feels she is in immediate danger, offer to call the police or the nearest women's shelter for her.
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Continue to be supportive - no matter what the woman does, or does not do, about the abuse it is very important to always be supportive. Knowing that someone believes in her strengths and is welling to help her can make an important difference in the long term.
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If you don't feel comfortable with the issue of abuse, try to understand why - you may need more knowledge about the issue and the services and supports available in you community, or you may need support for you own experience of abuse.
Compared with men, women are:
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6 times more likely to report being sexually assaulted
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5 times more likely to require medical attention as a result of an assault
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twice as likely to report being threatened with a knife or a gun
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report a higher incidence of being isolated from family and friend
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4 times more likely to having their property damaged or their possessions destroyed
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reported a higher rate of name-calling and put-downs
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much more likely to fear for their lives, or, be afraid for their children
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more likely to have sleeping problems, suffer depression or anxiety attacks, and/or have lowered self-esteem as a result of being abused
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more likely to report repeated assaults against them
Be
Web Safe When Looking Up Woman Abuse on the Internet
If may not be safe for you to visit web sites for information about fleeing domestic violence form your computer. Your abuser could discover what sites you have visited.
Internet browsers record a history of recently visited web sites for fast reloading on your next visit. Your safety could be in danger if your abuser were to check this history. It may be safer to access information on the Internet from a friend's house, your workplace, or a library.
There are some things that you can do to hide your Internet use. To hide your Internet activities you need to clear the computer's memory of the most recent pages that you have visited on the Internet.
This memory is the browser's cache. By emptying the computer's cache, you recently visited sites will be deleted. Here are the steps to do so:
If you use Internet Explore: Pull down the tools menu, select Internet Options. Choose the General tab, under temporary Internet Files, click on "Delete Files". Under History, click on "clear History" then click "OK".
If you use Netscap: Pull down My AOL, select Preferences. Click on the "WWW" icon under Temporary Internet Files, click on "Delete Files". Under History, click on "Clear History".
*If you don not know what browser you are using, open up the Internet and pull down the Help menu. Click on About.
*It is a good idea to access some web sites on other subjects after you have cleared the memory so it will have some items in it.